Jesus Project, Day 8

Today's quote is from Matthew 18:21-22

Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? Up to seven times?”  Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times."

If somebody hurts you, how hard is it to forgive them?  I suppose it might depend upon the degree of the offense -- spilled milk, pretty easy.  Something bigger?  Maybe a bit harder.  How hard would it be to forgive seventy-seven times?

I think Jesus is acknowledging that forgiveness is not an easy thing.  It's not always our first instinct.  We are fight-or-flight creatures by nature, with the instinct to protect ourselves.  Forgiveness takes us away from the instinctual and makes us face our danger or our offenders in a very deep way.  It is healing.  Lack of true forgiveness holds onto the hurt and allows it to continue hurting us and our relationships.

There is also another side to this.  How hard is it to ask for forgiveness?

I grew up Catholic and was taught that we had to go to Confession on a very regular basis (I could not receive communion at church if I went to the alter with "stains on my soul").  We had to tell a priest, who we did not know, about offenses that we had committed.  "Father, forgive me for I have sinned..."

When I look back, I see the value in the practice, but it seems just a little bit empty.  I don't know that asking for forgiveness from a stranger (even one who is supposed to represent God on earth) can be about rattling off a list of your offenses.  It may benefit the confessee to the point where they get it off their chest, but it heals nothing.  If it heals nothing, then the hurt stays with the person who committed the offense as well as the person offended.

As a fairly prideful person, it is difficult for me to allow myself to be humbled.  But there are times when my actions or actions around me humble me to a point where I have no other recourse but to open myself up completely to those around me, to fall to my knees and ask for grace and mercy.  It's only from here that I can begin healing from deep within, and hope to begin healing with those around me.

Jesus knows us more than we can ever know ourselves.  He knows the importance of offering forgiveness as a way of healing, rather than holding on to the offense and the hurt.  But he also knows that asking for that forgiveness prompts us to open our hearts to God, as well as to our friends and family even more than before, regardless of the outcome.