Uprising

It's hard to write about yourself (and blogs are most often an expression of narcissism) when an epic event in history is taking place in the world.  The people of Egypt can no longer accept martial law, can no longer accept a limit to their civil rights and have united to put a stop to it.  From our safe homes in the U.S., it is a foreign idea to riot like this.  I think to a lot of people here it looks like mob looting.

But when you watch them, it is very apparent that it's not a criminal movement.  It is a liberation movement.  For four days now, people have stood against the government's police force and now the army.

This image from The Hindu describes: A protester prays as anti-riot policemen look on in Cairo. Tens of thousands of protesters gathered at about six venues in Cairo and marched toward major squares and across Nile bridges, demanding President Hosni Mubarak’s ouster. Photo: AP What would it take to put your own life on the line to stand against your own government?  Can you imagine? How bad would it have to get for you and your neighbors and for how long?

I heard about an incredible moment when a mass of protesters met a group of riot police.  The protesters were throwing rocks, and the police were throwing them back.  An unarmed older man walked up to the police and asked for a peace, asked for talking.  The crowd quieted for a while and the people talked with the police.  It was not for a long time, but it must be a group that is sincere in their desperation and their intention to not give in to the violence and attempt talking.

We haven't really heard much in the past couple of decades from Egypt -- or rather, it seems to have been eclipsed by the situations in Israel, Iraq, Iran and Syria.  But Egypt has been a center of the Arab world -- in the arts, in film, in politics, and in Islam.  Egypt in history was the cradle of life for the region and included one of the longest kingdoms in human existence.

It appears that this deeply cultured country is making another turn in its own history.  May God be with those seeking justice and freedom.

Things I Learned Today

Mission Control, this is Launch Command.  All systems are go.  We have launch in T minus 11 days.

I had my pre-op appointments today.  I almost wish we got as much briefing time as maybe astronauts or maybe scientists who volunteer to test a machine (based on alien-sent blueprints) that will open a doorway to a black hole in which one might travel millions of light years through the universe.  That would be helpful to me.  The briefing I mean, not the black hole.  Though that might be really cool.  I'm sure Jody Foster enjoyed it.

Although I did get a lot of good information today, there's still so much I wish I could anticipate.  But maybe some ignorance is bliss.  I can't tell 'cause I don't know!  Here's what I do know:

On February 7, I will go to the hospital and be admitted.  I'll get IVs and then a sedative which will make me extremely sleepy.

I will most likely receive a femoral nerve block, where they'll put a small catheter (about the size of angel hair spaghetti or thick fishing line) into a nerve above my hip area, which will administer a numbing agent (like Novocaine).  Then they'll prep me for surgery, anesthetize me, intubate and provide gas.

I'll spare you the surgical details.  You're welcome.

I'll wake up and later that day (or within 24 hours), I'll be visited by a physical and occupational therapist, who will show me how to get around, what I can and cannot do, etc.  Because of the "approach" for this surgery (which will be posterior or through a 6" incision behind my hip), some very small internal muscles that hold my hip together will be cut and sutured.  It takes 6 to 8 weeks for muscles to fully heal, so I don't want to stress these little guys.  That means no bending at the waist past 90 degrees, no turning my toe in or twisting (or limbo, swing or line dancing), no crossing my legs, even if I really need to pee.

I will need to walk every day for a few minutes.  I probably won't be jogging right away (or ever but not because I can't).  I am allowed to drive once I'm off the narcotics (no you can't have any) and am able to push the clutch without breaking the rules.

So that's the plan in a nutshell. I'm looking forward to having my first sincerely cool scar.  I have one on my head but it's covered by hair.  Come to think of it, I guess I won't be able to show this scar off either, though hopefully it will not be covered by hair.

Addendum to Grannie Panties

This is an addendum to my Grannie Panties post earlier this week.  Remember the 5-pack of grannie panties that I bought (I'm going to see how many times I can say Grannie Panties) for my recovery time?  Well, it turns out that they increased the amount of material that goes over your back side (to the point where I could probably wear diapers and not really stretch the fabric -- could be handy!) but they don't add much to the leg area.  Sadly, they will be of no use to me.  There's no way in hell I'm going to wear them for regular use, and they aren't going to work for my recovery.

E has asked if I'd like to help take some jackets out to homeless folks this weekend.  Do you think any of them will need panties?

Inheritance

Oh. My. God.

First, I need to say that I love my mother very much.  She is one of my best friends and we laugh like crazy together all the time.

But she's freakin' me out, people!

I'm facing something in a week and a half that is fairly scary to me (up there with skydiving and going back to college).  I am pretty sure there's enough going through my mind to send me into a substantial panic if I didn't have work and blogging to distract me.  My mom has volunteered to let me know that "our family has a history of having issues with anesthesia."

This means that if I or the anesthesiologist are not careful, I can expect one or several of the following things to happen:

• suffocation
• being awake but paralyzed while my body is dissected
• throwing up for a week
• heart attack

Yay!

Apparently she and my aunt have had some issues with anesthesia.  For the record, I think my Aunt is on about 20 different kinds of medication for diabetes and blood pressure issues, not to mention glaucoma and arthritis.  I don't know if I fall into the same ballpark with my once a day gummi vitamins.

However, she was very adamant that I at LEAST have someone in the recovery room with me so that they can notify the staff if I wake up with panic in my eyes.  Although I am happy that she's volunteering for the position, I'm almost afraid to wake up with her looming over me with a mirror under my nose, checking for signs of life. 

On the other hand, my Aunt is telling my mother that having a total hip replacement is a piece of cake!  I should be up and running around in just a few days, no problem.  Only babies lay around whining for weeks on end.  Apparently, this  hinges on whether or not I made it alive out of the anesthesia. 

Personally, I'm counting on the fact that I have done lots of drugs in my life and have come out alive.  Heh.  Also I'm hoping to do some relaxing and guided meditation that will help me relax into the surgery and out the other side.  Oops, maybe that was the wrong turn of phrase.  But really, I love sleeping and am usually irritated when I'm woken up from any kind of sleep, drug induced or not.

On another note, after my scar heals (approximately 6" long), should I get a tattoo over it?  If so, what should I get?  A dotted line with "cut here" written along and scissors at the end of it?  An "x-ray" image of the new hip?  I'll take suggestions.  :)

A Walk on the Lighter Side

I'm going to forego any heavy emotional stuff for pure ridiculous entertainment.  Enjoy.

Grannie Panties

There's nothing like impending surgery to make you want to go on a shopping spree.  I went to Fred Meyer this evening to do a little light shopping and walked away with a 5-pack of grannie panties.  I'm expecting that after surgery I won't want to wear tight pants or undies, so I bought these buggers.  They look like a panty version of parachute pants.  *shudder*

I know I'm stressed out when I have little emotional outbursts.  The stress wells up and starts spilling over in areas that don't have much to do with my original source of anxiety.

I have a little gym in my basement with an eliptical trainer and some weights.  I also have a DVD player and TV so I can watch movies while I do my thing.  This morning's workout was accompanied by "Once", a story about a street performer who meets an immigrant girl and they play all this amazing original music together.

There's a scene where they go into a music store (like where they sell instruments), sit down with his beat-up guitar and a store piano, and start learning a song that he wrote, together for the first time.  I know there are equivalents to this feeling in other hobbies and passions, but here's how I feel about making music like that: it feels like giving birth to something you love.  It feels like connecting to the other musician's hearts in a way that can't be spoken.  It's a warm light that flows through everybody so intensely that after, you look at each other and say, "wow, what just happened?"

While I watched this scene I was reminded of how it feels to me when Elevation band plays. Despite the drama, the dysfunction and all the things we do wrong, I love those weirdos more than anything. And more, I love when we play music together.  It is my gift to have the honor to play with them.

Back to that emotional thing. I'm on the eliptical trainer, pumping away, and this scene from the movie plays, blowing me away.  I start thinking about Elevation and how much I'm going to miss them and really, what they mean to me, and I start BAWLING.  Seriously, not just a tear -- a fountain.  Do you know how hard it is to have hitching sobs when you're out of breath?  Talk about confusing!  Not to mention that I was twice as puffy.  Sigh...

Suffice it to say that I composed myself and was fine after I purged emotionally.  All this and I still have two weeks to go!!  This is going to be fun!

Speaking of crazy...

Hold Button

There are a lot of things I'm going to have to put on hold while I am laid up after my surgery.  They include but are not limited to:

• working out
• crossing my legs
• taking out the garbage (which I won't miss much)
• putting on my socks
• driving

The following are things that I will get to do a lot more of for a while:

• watching TV
• playing video games
• reading
• watching movies
• and a whole lotta THIS

I also had to say ta-ta-for-now to Elevation tonight.  It was an interesting experience.  I've been at Elevation for almost every Sunday evening for the lat 6+ years, excluding the occasional vacation.  This time, I won't be playing music for worship for at least five weeks.  That to me is incredibly sad.  I consider playing at Elevation a special gift, and one of the most meaningful things in my life.  It will feel very odd not to be there.

On the other hand, I also received a blessing of prayer for my surgery.  That felt pretty wonderful and I so appreciate the people who I know are supporting me in prayer.

When facing things that are unknown or unfamiliar (and that might be a little scary) it's easy to get fatalistic.  Ever done that?  Have you ever gotten on a plane to some place far and different and wondered if the plane was going to crash?  Gone for major surgery and wondered if something won't go wrong while you're under anesthesia?

Facing a situation where you're out of control isn't fun (unless of course you're on a roller coaster or something).  At least, I have little issues with it.  But I am trying to focus on the knowledge that I am in the hands of professionals, and that I am in the perfect hands of my Creator.

In the meantime, I'm trying to plan out as much as I can.  I have a lot of equipment that I should accumulate to make things easier -- walker, one of those reachers with pinchers, a thingy to help me put my socks on (I wasn't kidding about that), etc.  

I also need to make sure my Netflix subscription is paid up.

Hipster Apprentice

I've never been good at writing journals.  I'm not that disciplined and I'm not entirely sure that I have anything that interesting to say -- that vocalizing my inner dialogue will have the effect I hoped for.

BUT I have something coming up that has my mind going and I thought maybe a blog would help.  Sure I could plaster my thoughts all over facebook, but I already torture my "friends" enough with political opinions and kitty videos.  (I love the video of the cat that is stuffing its face with grass and then looks up with this worried face like it just farted in public http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kYLU8DAZo2c)

For maybe the last ten years, my hip/groin has been giving me problems.  I thought maybe it was just tight muscles ... I tried chiropractic for a while which seemed to help at times.  I tried acupuncture (I told my doc once that I was trying acupuncture and he said "I think that's great -- I totally believe in placebo.).  Again, things seemed to help very temporarily.  

Over the past two years or so, things have gotten a little bit worse.  I can't move my leg outward or twist it, and my left leg really starts hurting if I walk more than 1/4 mile.  If you think about it, this means no hiking, no traveling abroad and walking around Rome (for which I have a passion).  My mom may read this (Hi mom!) so I won't tell you what it does to my love life.  

In short, I am becoming unable to do the things a healthy 42 year-old person should be enjoying.

This last year I went to an osteopath who told me that I likely tore my labrum cartilage in my hip.  It's the layer of cartilage that cushions your hip joint and acts as sort of a gasket to keep it in place.  He mentioned that it probably happened about 10 years ago and has slowly gotten worse.  I tried physical therapy for a while to assist the muscles that have shifted to support the joint but that didn't help.

So I got an MRI to get a good solid look at it.  Turns out the labrum is not torn, it's chewed up.  I have seen two surgeons since then who have told me that my only choice is a Total Hip Replacement.  

That's right.  I'm a 42 year-old person who is now going to get a hip replacement.  I will have my current hip joint removed and a metal one put in its place.  I would like to state here that I had a problem with getting a crown on my tooth because I didn't want anything but my natural teeth.  Heh.

In early December, I scheduled my surgery for February 7th.  Today is January 22nd.  My surgery is two weeks away and I'm starting to get nervous.  You know, since I scheduled my surgery I'm feeling much better?