How do you pick something up off the floor if you can't bend over? How does one put one's socks on with the same limitation? How do you stand from a seated position if you can't shift your center of balance over your feet first? How do you get groceries if you can't drive and have exhausted all of your friends?
Thank GOD someone answered all of these questions before I needed to. The following is an homage to all of the little tools and technology that have helped me deal.
1. The Straight Reacher. This little dude is seriously my best friend. Whether I need to put on my pants or if I dropped the soap in the shower (oops!), this trigger-action reacher is priceless. It works so well I was even able to pick up my iTouch off a hardwood floor. And it's great for rounding up the wiener dogs when they're out of hand.
2. The Sock Aid. This is another miracle worker. Although it doesn't really help me to put on long socks very well, I am able to easily put socks on the foot of the leg I'm not supposed to bend very far, so my little piggies stay warm. I tried to get the dogs to sleep on my feet but they don't take direction very well.
3. The Toilet Riser. Right. So, this one is a little embarrassing. My grandma used to have one in her bathroom and I would either go in her other bathroom or hold it. It looks weird and makes loud, hollow noises, if you get my drift. However, there's no way I would have gotten off the pooper without it! In order to stand up from a sitting position without leaning forward (a no-no), you HAVE to push off with your arms until your center of balance makes it over your feet. The handles (though cold in the morning) make standing up a piece of cake.
4. Online Grocery Shopping. I actually just used this for the first time ever this week. To be honest, I've been well fed since my surgery, as I think I've mentioned. And E did a grocery run for me (among other things) before her term of service was up. But what's a girl to do if she gets a hankerin' for a ding dong? Or wants to make a certain meal but is one ingredient shy? I went online yesterday and picked out about 15 items that I wanted from the store. They were delivered today during the block of time promised. Not only that, but the drivers are not allowed to accept tips. Yay!
A big stadium wave sized shout-out to the people who invented all of these. Thank you!
Today's been a snow day for the rest of the area -- it's been truly beautiful from where I sit. The people across the street took their little one (I think he's about 4) outside and made a 2-foot tall snowman. They topped it off with the little boy's stocking hat. Since then, the snow melted and now there's just a saggy hat in the middle of their yard. Now that's just depressing.
Working from home has been great. As long as I can put off the pain meds which make me sleepy (I can hold off until about 3 or 4 then I start to get stiff and achy), I get a lot done. It's pretty cool. I wouldn't have been able to do this as easily 10 years ago or more. First, long distance calls were expensive back then, so calling clients would not have been as fun. I certainly would not have had high speed cable internet, or access to my company's database and servers. Plus, how awesome is it that I can go to work without having to get out of my PJs all day?
Lastly, I would like to recommend a movie that I watched (again) last night -- Due Date. Zack Galafanaikis (or whatever) is too frickin' funny and Robert Downy Jr ain't half bad either. It has as many quotables as Anchorman. Rent it!
Loves to ya'll...
Thursday, February 24, 2011
Monday, February 21, 2011
Flying Solo
The morning after my surgery, I was afraid to sit up.
That afternoon, I was afraid to stand up.
The next day, I was afraid to go home.
Once home, I was afraid to do things like get out of bed on my own, stand up, and walk around the house.
Last Friday, I was nervous about getting back into a car for my post-op appointment.
Today, I was afraid to be by myself.
Why was I afraid? Probably because sometimes things hurt. And there's the possibility that something can go wrong. But facing these little pains and fears along the way have helped me to heal and get stronger. It's crazy that this is sort of the rule of human nature, don't you think? In order to grow as a person, you have to push yourself beyond your comfort zone and do things that are difficult and sometimes painful.
Today I ... kind of ... went back to work! That is, I worked remotely from home, which I've never officially done before. I was surprised about how much work I was able to do! There were almost no interruptions (except for the occasional cat walking over my keyboard) and it was nice and quiet so I could concentrate. I pooped out earlier than I hoped but that is the nature of pain meds.
E finished serving her time in cellblock Heehoos today. She gave the house a final cleaning (I've had more laundry done in these two weeks than I do in six months. I've rotated about two favorite t-shirts cause they were always clean every other day, lol), did a grocery run and headed out into the wide world to join the human race again. Tonight will be my first night without someone watching over me since coming home. It feels so weird!
I suppose I'm not completely without supervision. Whenever I have food within 3 feet of me, I am under intense supervision of three weiner dogs and a cat.
That afternoon, I was afraid to stand up.
The next day, I was afraid to go home.
Once home, I was afraid to do things like get out of bed on my own, stand up, and walk around the house.
Last Friday, I was nervous about getting back into a car for my post-op appointment.
Today, I was afraid to be by myself.
Why was I afraid? Probably because sometimes things hurt. And there's the possibility that something can go wrong. But facing these little pains and fears along the way have helped me to heal and get stronger. It's crazy that this is sort of the rule of human nature, don't you think? In order to grow as a person, you have to push yourself beyond your comfort zone and do things that are difficult and sometimes painful.
Today I ... kind of ... went back to work! That is, I worked remotely from home, which I've never officially done before. I was surprised about how much work I was able to do! There were almost no interruptions (except for the occasional cat walking over my keyboard) and it was nice and quiet so I could concentrate. I pooped out earlier than I hoped but that is the nature of pain meds.
E finished serving her time in cellblock Heehoos today. She gave the house a final cleaning (I've had more laundry done in these two weeks than I do in six months. I've rotated about two favorite t-shirts cause they were always clean every other day, lol), did a grocery run and headed out into the wide world to join the human race again. Tonight will be my first night without someone watching over me since coming home. It feels so weird!
I suppose I'm not completely without supervision. Whenever I have food within 3 feet of me, I am under intense supervision of three weiner dogs and a cat.
Sunday, February 20, 2011
Strange Brew
It's been a long time since I've eaten THIS well, consistently. I did a bunch of shopping before my surgery, but I'm also constantly being fed. Friends and family have made pork chops, pot roast, meatloaf, spaghetti with meatballs, and more. I have tons of fruit, spinach (for important iron), and snacks, my favorite of which are the various Kozy Shak tapioca, rice pudding and chocolate pudding. Me happy!
E also has a new toy that she is very excited with -- a VitaMix. It's what she uses to make her magic potions. I am regularly being presented with odd green brews that include but are not limited to pistachios, collard greens, coconut, carrots, and who knows what else. I know her intention is awesome -- to make sure I get all my healing nutrients. But there is something very exorcist-like about these shakes, heh.
I REALLY overdid it the past two days. So I talked about what I did on Friday. Yesterday was my brother's birthday, and we went to my mom's house to celebrate it. I got ready -- showered, did my hair, and then had to clean my own personal throne for the time at another house (my toilet riser 'cause I can't get up from a regular toilet). I think I pulled a muscle in my butt, or at least really stressed it out. I can barely walk now without pain. So that's a big bummer.
It also tells me that I'm not quite ready to integrate back into my regular life yet, which is very frustrating. I'm reminded that I can't walk far at all, that I can't sit in a regular chair for very long at all yet, and that I get tired pretty quickly. I most certainly am getting better every day. When you feel better, you want to do more. But it's very important to not do TOO MUCH when you feel better because it can give you quite a set-back.
Today I am not doing anything stressful at all. It's another day of sedentary recooperation. Tomorrow I'll try my first day of work from home, which I'm rather looking forward to.
Okay, back to another episode of Survivorman on the Science Channel! :)
E also has a new toy that she is very excited with -- a VitaMix. It's what she uses to make her magic potions. I am regularly being presented with odd green brews that include but are not limited to pistachios, collard greens, coconut, carrots, and who knows what else. I know her intention is awesome -- to make sure I get all my healing nutrients. But there is something very exorcist-like about these shakes, heh.
I REALLY overdid it the past two days. So I talked about what I did on Friday. Yesterday was my brother's birthday, and we went to my mom's house to celebrate it. I got ready -- showered, did my hair, and then had to clean my own personal throne for the time at another house (my toilet riser 'cause I can't get up from a regular toilet). I think I pulled a muscle in my butt, or at least really stressed it out. I can barely walk now without pain. So that's a big bummer.
It also tells me that I'm not quite ready to integrate back into my regular life yet, which is very frustrating. I'm reminded that I can't walk far at all, that I can't sit in a regular chair for very long at all yet, and that I get tired pretty quickly. I most certainly am getting better every day. When you feel better, you want to do more. But it's very important to not do TOO MUCH when you feel better because it can give you quite a set-back.
Today I am not doing anything stressful at all. It's another day of sedentary recooperation. Tomorrow I'll try my first day of work from home, which I'm rather looking forward to.
Okay, back to another episode of Survivorman on the Science Channel! :)
Friday, February 18, 2011
Out and About
Wooot! I got out of the house today!!! You have no idea how exciting this is after spending the last ten days in the same three or four rooms. I felt like dancin'! Well, almost. :)
The reason for my excursion beyond the front door was my post-op follow-up appointment. It's been 12 days since my surgery and they wanted to make sure everything was going well. OR, they may know how weirded out people can get two weeks after surgery and schedule the appointment strictly to make the patient feel better. Either way, it worked for me.
I got to see an xray of my new hip! It was pretty cool. Apparently I have odd bones. Typically, bones have a thin-ish, hard white layer on the outside, and a very porous center that makes marrow. Mine of course have these components; but the hard white layer of my bones is really thick, and the marrow part a little more narrow. This meant that I had to get a rather newish prosthesis for my femur. In comparisons to typical prosthesis which have a long narrow part that goes down the middle of your thigh bone, my prosthesis is shorter and wider. As my doc said, it's a part "made especially for me." :)
I always knew I was special.
Shut up.
I also got a prescription for new meds so I can STOP ITCHING. Halle-friggin-lujah!
Another thing we discussed was the lop-sided feeling, like my new hip added an inch or so onto my leg. She said that this is pretty normal but we looked at the xray anyway. It is possible that it added 5mm or so. This is usually a welcome thing in people who have bad arthritis because it usually means that part of the bone and definitely most of the cartilage has worn away and made the leg shorter. I never had this feeling. But with time and physical therapy, it should feel completely normal within about three months.
I will not be starting physical therapy right away. This surgeon feels that for hip replacements, P.T. is not necessary right away. Though other joint work -- like knee, elbow and shoulder -- should have physical therapy immediately so as to make sure recovery happens in the right way, the hip is different. They also feel that P.T. right away would end up stressing the recovering muscles. Their preference would be for me to wait for 4-6 weeks before I start. But I asked for my prescription anyway so that I could definitely start at around four weeks.
Lastly, she thinks I should take it easy for at least one more week. They would prefer four weeks before work, but I think I can do some work at least from home. I should at least hold off trying to drive for another week. So I'm getting set up to do some sales and marketing work from home next week. It would be good to feel useful and involved again!
After my appointment, we went to Fred Meyer to get my prescription filled and grab a few groceries. You know, nothing says "vibrant and attractive" like a walker. At least the Gateway Fred Meyer had their floors done recently, so I was able to "glide" around the place really well. I think I walked more today than I have for the last two weeks! Quite sure I'll be paying for this later, heh. But still, it was good to move around and be among the living ... or at least mostly living (considering some of the people at the Gatway Fred Meyer).
Thanks again for the lovely people who take care of me -- E, John H, Sharon, Cathy N, Deanna, and anybody else I may have missed. I love you!
The reason for my excursion beyond the front door was my post-op follow-up appointment. It's been 12 days since my surgery and they wanted to make sure everything was going well. OR, they may know how weirded out people can get two weeks after surgery and schedule the appointment strictly to make the patient feel better. Either way, it worked for me.
I got to see an xray of my new hip! It was pretty cool. Apparently I have odd bones. Typically, bones have a thin-ish, hard white layer on the outside, and a very porous center that makes marrow. Mine of course have these components; but the hard white layer of my bones is really thick, and the marrow part a little more narrow. This meant that I had to get a rather newish prosthesis for my femur. In comparisons to typical prosthesis which have a long narrow part that goes down the middle of your thigh bone, my prosthesis is shorter and wider. As my doc said, it's a part "made especially for me." :)
I always knew I was special.
Shut up.
I also got a prescription for new meds so I can STOP ITCHING. Halle-friggin-lujah!
Another thing we discussed was the lop-sided feeling, like my new hip added an inch or so onto my leg. She said that this is pretty normal but we looked at the xray anyway. It is possible that it added 5mm or so. This is usually a welcome thing in people who have bad arthritis because it usually means that part of the bone and definitely most of the cartilage has worn away and made the leg shorter. I never had this feeling. But with time and physical therapy, it should feel completely normal within about three months.
I will not be starting physical therapy right away. This surgeon feels that for hip replacements, P.T. is not necessary right away. Though other joint work -- like knee, elbow and shoulder -- should have physical therapy immediately so as to make sure recovery happens in the right way, the hip is different. They also feel that P.T. right away would end up stressing the recovering muscles. Their preference would be for me to wait for 4-6 weeks before I start. But I asked for my prescription anyway so that I could definitely start at around four weeks.
Lastly, she thinks I should take it easy for at least one more week. They would prefer four weeks before work, but I think I can do some work at least from home. I should at least hold off trying to drive for another week. So I'm getting set up to do some sales and marketing work from home next week. It would be good to feel useful and involved again!
After my appointment, we went to Fred Meyer to get my prescription filled and grab a few groceries. You know, nothing says "vibrant and attractive" like a walker. At least the Gateway Fred Meyer had their floors done recently, so I was able to "glide" around the place really well. I think I walked more today than I have for the last two weeks! Quite sure I'll be paying for this later, heh. But still, it was good to move around and be among the living ... or at least mostly living (considering some of the people at the Gatway Fred Meyer).
Thanks again for the lovely people who take care of me -- E, John H, Sharon, Cathy N, Deanna, and anybody else I may have missed. I love you!
Tuesday, February 15, 2011
Uneven
I think my hip is too big.
I've taken a couple of steps today without my walker! Yay! I can walk to the kitchen and back. I don't always lean on my walker too much -- mostly I use it for balance and to make sure I can move around without getting tooo tired.
But as I was saying, when I do walk, it feels like my left leg is about an inch or two too long now. I know it's the swelling and muscles healing but it's a very weird feeling. If I just stand straight, I stand at an angle. I suppose if I travel to Pisa, the tower there will have a friend.
It seems that I'm reacting a little negatively to the Oxycodone that I'm taking. I keep my doses low, but they're making my skin itch. If I sweat a lot I get low-grade hives. It's just the medicine coming out in my pores but oooohh it is not comfortable at all. The fact that I can't scratch below the knee just makes it all the more fun. My very favorite thing right now is a good scratch...
The medicine is a tricky business. I want enough to keep things from hurting too much (hurting too much = not enough movement to rehabilitate) but low enough so that I don't feel woozy and lazy (which would also lead to not enough movement to rehabilitate). Right now, if I don't at least take Tylenol every 4 hours, I get an ache deep in my butt cheek that makes sitting or walking a displeasure.
Sorry, was that TMI? I'm stuck in my living room and talk with my caretakers about my next B.M., so I'm pretty clueless these days as to social propriety. Not that I'm known for my delicacy.
Another hurdle at this point in the game is emotion. Not only is my body taxed, but my mind and heart get taxed after a while, too. My heart really goes out to people who are bed-ridden or dependent for long stretches of time (or permanently). It is not easy depending on others for basic things.
I understand from my mom that people who have major surgeries very commonly experience a post-op depression about a week or so after, and I'm sure I'm experiencing the lighter end of this. Tears appear out of the blue and are gone just as fast. This morning, I missed my mom and I also had a little emotional spot after I took a shower (there is nothing more exhausting to me right now than showering).
Still I'm trying to keep spirits up. Tonight I'm watching "Bizarre Foods by Andrew Zimmern" on the Travel Channel. Nothing cheers me up like watching a chubby bald man eat bugs and innards. :)
I've taken a couple of steps today without my walker! Yay! I can walk to the kitchen and back. I don't always lean on my walker too much -- mostly I use it for balance and to make sure I can move around without getting tooo tired.
But as I was saying, when I do walk, it feels like my left leg is about an inch or two too long now. I know it's the swelling and muscles healing but it's a very weird feeling. If I just stand straight, I stand at an angle. I suppose if I travel to Pisa, the tower there will have a friend.
It seems that I'm reacting a little negatively to the Oxycodone that I'm taking. I keep my doses low, but they're making my skin itch. If I sweat a lot I get low-grade hives. It's just the medicine coming out in my pores but oooohh it is not comfortable at all. The fact that I can't scratch below the knee just makes it all the more fun. My very favorite thing right now is a good scratch...
The medicine is a tricky business. I want enough to keep things from hurting too much (hurting too much = not enough movement to rehabilitate) but low enough so that I don't feel woozy and lazy (which would also lead to not enough movement to rehabilitate). Right now, if I don't at least take Tylenol every 4 hours, I get an ache deep in my butt cheek that makes sitting or walking a displeasure.
Sorry, was that TMI? I'm stuck in my living room and talk with my caretakers about my next B.M., so I'm pretty clueless these days as to social propriety. Not that I'm known for my delicacy.
Another hurdle at this point in the game is emotion. Not only is my body taxed, but my mind and heart get taxed after a while, too. My heart really goes out to people who are bed-ridden or dependent for long stretches of time (or permanently). It is not easy depending on others for basic things.
I understand from my mom that people who have major surgeries very commonly experience a post-op depression about a week or so after, and I'm sure I'm experiencing the lighter end of this. Tears appear out of the blue and are gone just as fast. This morning, I missed my mom and I also had a little emotional spot after I took a shower (there is nothing more exhausting to me right now than showering).
Still I'm trying to keep spirits up. Tonight I'm watching "Bizarre Foods by Andrew Zimmern" on the Travel Channel. Nothing cheers me up like watching a chubby bald man eat bugs and innards. :)
Monday, February 14, 2011
New batteries
First of all, Happy Valentine's Day, everybody! So far I've gotten v-day socks, a cookie and a bouquet of balloons. But best of all, I've had wonderful people around me. I wish I could reciprocate more -- hopefully I will do over the coming year and then some. I'd like to give a big hug to my girl, my family, my band, and all my friends.
I sure could use a fresh set of batteries, hehe. My hip feels a little bit better everyday; but my energy is still in the pooper. Taking a shower is enough to wear me out for a while. I get shakey and clammy. It could be the meds, though I'm trying to keep those as low as possible. It could also simply be the recovery of tissues and bone (marrow is responsible for making blood, and some of mine was compromised in this procedure).
My mom has finished her tour of duty in the casa de replacemente. I'll definitely miss having her around -- her presence has been very comforting and helpful to me. There's nothing like having your mommy take care of you when you're feeling icky. :)
This evening, E will take over my second week of recoop, and lots of people have offered to bring dinners. I can't wait to sample all the goodies!
By the way, I forgot in my post later last week to mention one other person who came by to cheer me up -- Donna, who also cleans my house every other week, brought us some rockin' breakfast!!
Once again, I apologize for the lack of more entertaining fodder, but things are pretty quiet around here. I mostly check facebook, watch TV, do my exercises, figure out my next med dose and try to stay as comfortable as possible.
Until next
Saturday, February 12, 2011
Ups and Downs
I had a very good experience this morning! Since my surgery, I haven't really been able to move my leg sideways on my own -- for example, laying on my back with my legs straight, I would not have been able to move my left leg out away from my body or back. If things did not improve, my future snow angels would look very lop-sided.
This morning, all of a sudden, I could EASILY move my leg back and forth that way. That means that some of my nerves and muscles are waking up!
Unfortunately, I was so giddy and thankful that I could do this again, that I did it about 23 times which was probably too many. Heh. So tonight I'm really sore. Eventually I will learn to do an appropriate amount of exercise so that I can do 3-4 sessions per day and not feel like I've been hit by a truck by 5:00.
Soreness aside, it is proof that things are improving very well. It feels AWESOME to have these little victories. It pulls me away from the discouragement of the discomfort and focuses me on the good that I will feel in the future.
It's interesting to experience something completely new. Not saying something new and FUN, but just something for which you have no basis of experience. When you have no basis of experience, you don't know if what you are experiencing is positive or if something is wrong. That's where my anxiety lies these days. I know things are supposed to hurt -- that goes without saying. But what pain is healing pain and what is pain that indicates something is going wrong? If I have any anxiety, this is where it's coming from. I just have to keep in mind that I am young, I am strong, and I am doing very well so far.
I've been graced with good company these days. As I've mentioned, my mom is here to take care of me. Poor thing has to get up with me in the middle of the night as I take my meds and inevitably use the restroom. Maybe she's making up for tripping over my catheter tube in the hospital. (There's a unique sensation.)
My dad has also been by several times, which I love. He has to drive almost an hour each way so I'm touched by his efforts.
E has been making daily visits (she'll be taking over for my mother starting Monday night). My friend, Pam, made dinner for us this evening (pork chops, potatoes, corn) and our friend, Dorothy, stopped by yesterday for a visit.
Honestly, I feel so loved and cared for. :)
This morning, all of a sudden, I could EASILY move my leg back and forth that way. That means that some of my nerves and muscles are waking up!
Unfortunately, I was so giddy and thankful that I could do this again, that I did it about 23 times which was probably too many. Heh. So tonight I'm really sore. Eventually I will learn to do an appropriate amount of exercise so that I can do 3-4 sessions per day and not feel like I've been hit by a truck by 5:00.
Soreness aside, it is proof that things are improving very well. It feels AWESOME to have these little victories. It pulls me away from the discouragement of the discomfort and focuses me on the good that I will feel in the future.
It's interesting to experience something completely new. Not saying something new and FUN, but just something for which you have no basis of experience. When you have no basis of experience, you don't know if what you are experiencing is positive or if something is wrong. That's where my anxiety lies these days. I know things are supposed to hurt -- that goes without saying. But what pain is healing pain and what is pain that indicates something is going wrong? If I have any anxiety, this is where it's coming from. I just have to keep in mind that I am young, I am strong, and I am doing very well so far.
I've been graced with good company these days. As I've mentioned, my mom is here to take care of me. Poor thing has to get up with me in the middle of the night as I take my meds and inevitably use the restroom. Maybe she's making up for tripping over my catheter tube in the hospital. (There's a unique sensation.)
My dad has also been by several times, which I love. He has to drive almost an hour each way so I'm touched by his efforts.
E has been making daily visits (she'll be taking over for my mother starting Monday night). My friend, Pam, made dinner for us this evening (pork chops, potatoes, corn) and our friend, Dorothy, stopped by yesterday for a visit.
Honestly, I feel so loved and cared for. :)
Friday, February 11, 2011
Baby's First Steps
This surgery has sent me back about 39 years. Although I wouldn't mind taking a few years off -- you know, some minor wrinkles or sagging bits -- I'm not sure I wanted to go back this far. My mom even will only bring me a half of a glass of juice at a time so I won't spill. And for some reason she also sings a little song when she puts on my "sockies".
This replacement has meant that I need to relearn very basic things -- like walking, getting out of bed, etc. And a lot of the very basics are probably the most difficult -- going to the "potty" and all things associated with that, taking a shower and even sleeping. I'm not sure that I've ever slept through an entire night sleeping on my back, and that's all I can do now.
However, going back that far also means that every time something gets better, my sense of accomplishment makes me feel that much better. For example, I took a shower today! This had many perks, not the least of which is that people (dogs, the cat) may want to get a little closer to me than they did yesterday. But this shower had complications: I can't get my incision wet, so that needs to be protected. I can't stand up, so I need to use a shower bench. And even while I sit, I can't do the following:
- bend at the waist beyond 90 degrees (beyond a right angle)
- let my left leg cross the center line of my body (can't cross my legs in any way)
- let my left toe turn in toward my other foot
Due to the muscles that were cut around my hip joint, it is difficult to stop my toe from turning in, so it's a precaution I have to pay a lot of attention to.
I have been working out a LOT lately. I am going to be sooo buff. Well... My hip flexor maybe, and the front of my shins. I have P.T. exercises that I have to do three times a day. The more I do, the better I will continue to feel; so as much as it hurts to do them, I'm all over 'em. I do all exercises lying on my back and they include things like raising my knee up, flexing my butt, flexing my quadriceps, and -- my nemesis -- swinging my leg out to the side and back, as if I was trying to make a snow angel.
I'm very much looking forward to how I'm going to feel in the coming week. Today is officially day four. I feel like I've made a lot of progress but I also feel sooooo limited in what I can do on my own. But if I think about it, three days ago I freaked out at the idea of standing up. If I continue to progress like this, I should be running the Portland Marathon later this year. :)
Thursday, February 10, 2011
Ouch
Ouuuuuuch. Where is E.T. when you need him?
This is my first entry since my surgery, which I had on Monday afternoon, February 7th. I checked in to OHSU at 11:30 and had a pack of family members in tow -- my mom, Dad, Nina and E. Pastor Nathan also came to pray with me and send me into surgery with as much peace as possible. (Hahahahaha)
I was pretty calm when I went to the hospital. Calmer than I expected. Then when I went downstairs to get my IV and meet the anesthesia team, that's when I started getting panicky. They presented me with a bunch of anesthesia options (I thought the choices had already been made) and was unprepared for all the info, so I got a little emotional. I went with the general anesthesia and a side of epidural. Other options included a nerve block and lower body local anesthesia but I REALLY did not want to be awake while they sawed on me. No thank you...
They wheeled me into the O.R. and the next thing I knew, I was waking up in recovery. The thing that woke me up was my hip/leg pain at first because they don't turn on the epidural (which runs on a constant drip) until after surgery. Apparently another patient, who had received a similar surgery, had chosen to not get a nerve block or epidural and was yelling for quite some time. *shudder*
After a while in recovery, they wheeled me into my room (private room! woohoo!) where I was greeted by an even larger group of family (same as above and also my brother, sister-in-law and WYATT!).
During those first days while I had the epidural, I did not have any other narcotics. This is good because you're not nearly as loopy or nauseous right out of surgery, but the pain is very much blocked. I mostly just concentrated on resting. Note that in the hospital, you rest more than you sleep because the staff comes in to check your pain and vitals every hour or so. "How are you? Are you able to sleep?" Uh...
The next morning at about 10:00, the Physical Therapy and Occupational Therapy people came in to get me on my feet. At least, that was their intention. I was supposed to pivot in bed until I could get my feet to the floor and then push myself up and onto my walker. There are three things I am not supposed to do -- bend at the waist past 90 degrees, let my legs cross or point my toes in (pigeon-toe). I'm afraid I disappointed them because I almost fainted trying to pivot. They figured I probably had too much anesthesia left in my system and that I should drink water. So I did. A lot.
Immediately after, I was visited by someone from the pain control group who wanted to check my epidural port (in my back). I started getting a bit pale and she asked if I was getting nauseated, like it was an appropriate question to ask but hoped that I'd say no. I said yes, actually, I was getting extremely nauseous. I fanned my face and covered my mouth (the international sign for impending barf) but she still didn't seem like she understood until the very last second and got me this little tiny plastic curved tray that I was supposed to "let loose" in. They can't possibly expect that one could let loose in those miniature swimming pools. Honestly. I filled mine up twice as well as the top of my gown (and maybe a little bit on my visitor).
That's really as bad as it's gotten. I only had that problem because I chugged so much water. Lesson learned!
I had more success later in the day. The next Physical Therapist did get me up on my feet with a walker and then into a chair for a half hour. I had no idea sitting in a chair could be that freakin' uncomfortable.
Yesterday morning, the crew had it in their minds that I was doing "extremely well" and needed to walk down the hall, up three stairs and back so that I could prove I could go home. They soon learned that I am not a morning person. I made it just outside my room door before I needed to sit down. It was a nice visit to the hallway and that was it. After lunch and a visit by family members and my boss (which was very sweet), I did manage to do the steps and walk back down the hall. After that, they saw no other reason to keep me and discharged me!
It was scary at first. Not just getting home, but being home without all that medical assistance. But my mom is staying with me and we're doing pretty okay. I am able to get out of bed and to the bathroom, which I have not had difficulty doing since I was about two, and I'm able to manage the pain pretty well.
I must say that I had no idea it could hurt this bad! I'm looking forward to some healin', that's for sure.
This morning, my friend Donna brought us a yummy breakfast and my mom washed my hair. I'm feeling almost human again.
Until my next moment of clarity... Peace out!
This is my first entry since my surgery, which I had on Monday afternoon, February 7th. I checked in to OHSU at 11:30 and had a pack of family members in tow -- my mom, Dad, Nina and E. Pastor Nathan also came to pray with me and send me into surgery with as much peace as possible. (Hahahahaha)
I was pretty calm when I went to the hospital. Calmer than I expected. Then when I went downstairs to get my IV and meet the anesthesia team, that's when I started getting panicky. They presented me with a bunch of anesthesia options (I thought the choices had already been made) and was unprepared for all the info, so I got a little emotional. I went with the general anesthesia and a side of epidural. Other options included a nerve block and lower body local anesthesia but I REALLY did not want to be awake while they sawed on me. No thank you...
They wheeled me into the O.R. and the next thing I knew, I was waking up in recovery. The thing that woke me up was my hip/leg pain at first because they don't turn on the epidural (which runs on a constant drip) until after surgery. Apparently another patient, who had received a similar surgery, had chosen to not get a nerve block or epidural and was yelling for quite some time. *shudder*
After a while in recovery, they wheeled me into my room (private room! woohoo!) where I was greeted by an even larger group of family (same as above and also my brother, sister-in-law and WYATT!).
During those first days while I had the epidural, I did not have any other narcotics. This is good because you're not nearly as loopy or nauseous right out of surgery, but the pain is very much blocked. I mostly just concentrated on resting. Note that in the hospital, you rest more than you sleep because the staff comes in to check your pain and vitals every hour or so. "How are you? Are you able to sleep?" Uh...
The next morning at about 10:00, the Physical Therapy and Occupational Therapy people came in to get me on my feet. At least, that was their intention. I was supposed to pivot in bed until I could get my feet to the floor and then push myself up and onto my walker. There are three things I am not supposed to do -- bend at the waist past 90 degrees, let my legs cross or point my toes in (pigeon-toe). I'm afraid I disappointed them because I almost fainted trying to pivot. They figured I probably had too much anesthesia left in my system and that I should drink water. So I did. A lot.
Immediately after, I was visited by someone from the pain control group who wanted to check my epidural port (in my back). I started getting a bit pale and she asked if I was getting nauseated, like it was an appropriate question to ask but hoped that I'd say no. I said yes, actually, I was getting extremely nauseous. I fanned my face and covered my mouth (the international sign for impending barf) but she still didn't seem like she understood until the very last second and got me this little tiny plastic curved tray that I was supposed to "let loose" in. They can't possibly expect that one could let loose in those miniature swimming pools. Honestly. I filled mine up twice as well as the top of my gown (and maybe a little bit on my visitor).
That's really as bad as it's gotten. I only had that problem because I chugged so much water. Lesson learned!
I had more success later in the day. The next Physical Therapist did get me up on my feet with a walker and then into a chair for a half hour. I had no idea sitting in a chair could be that freakin' uncomfortable.
Yesterday morning, the crew had it in their minds that I was doing "extremely well" and needed to walk down the hall, up three stairs and back so that I could prove I could go home. They soon learned that I am not a morning person. I made it just outside my room door before I needed to sit down. It was a nice visit to the hallway and that was it. After lunch and a visit by family members and my boss (which was very sweet), I did manage to do the steps and walk back down the hall. After that, they saw no other reason to keep me and discharged me!
It was scary at first. Not just getting home, but being home without all that medical assistance. But my mom is staying with me and we're doing pretty okay. I am able to get out of bed and to the bathroom, which I have not had difficulty doing since I was about two, and I'm able to manage the pain pretty well.
I must say that I had no idea it could hurt this bad! I'm looking forward to some healin', that's for sure.
This morning, my friend Donna brought us a yummy breakfast and my mom washed my hair. I'm feeling almost human again.
Until my next moment of clarity... Peace out!
Sunday, February 6, 2011
Silkwood
I am writing this post and racing the clock. Or rather, I'm racing the half Lorazapam (like valium) I took 15 minutes ago. If my grammar or spelling deteriorate over the course of my writing this, or if sentences trail off without being finished, you'll know why.
So tomorrow is my big day. This time tomorrow I will have a new hip. I'm going to pretend it's like getting a dental crown, but it's a crown for the top of my leg. Truth be told, I'm really not looking forward to it. It hurts like a bugger, but I could live with it, lol. I KNOW I'll feel better in a month or so, but I wish I could just skip to next month.
I'm exhausted. Today E and I spent all day getting the house ready for my convalescence. She helped me assemble my shower bench (I think that E believes assembly instructions are for sissies), and my nifty 6" toilet seat with handle bars. We did ALL of my laundry, moved the furniture, washed the dogs, went grocery shopping and even fit in a good workout.
Part of my prep instructions include washing with this special antibacterial type of body wash tonight and tomorrow morning. It kinda freaked me out -- it's blood red for starters. I scrubbed everything with it until I felt like Karen Silkwood (that's a movie, by the way, that was one of the earliest to include a lesbian character -- played by Cher!). If you were born after, say, 1980, that reference may elude you.
I think there's an upside to my convalescent time. I have this big leather livingroom sofa. It's huge. But I always only sit in one place on it, and my butt is starting to make quite a dent. Maybe I'll wear in other parts of the sofa now that I can't sit just in that one place anymore. I'll make more dents. ;)
My check-in time tomorrow is 11:30am. I should start really freaking out at around 10:00am. So if you could throw a little prayer out there, I'd be much obliged. :)
Until next time, when I will have my first cyborg part, see ya later.
I'll be back...
So tomorrow is my big day. This time tomorrow I will have a new hip. I'm going to pretend it's like getting a dental crown, but it's a crown for the top of my leg. Truth be told, I'm really not looking forward to it. It hurts like a bugger, but I could live with it, lol. I KNOW I'll feel better in a month or so, but I wish I could just skip to next month.
I'm exhausted. Today E and I spent all day getting the house ready for my convalescence. She helped me assemble my shower bench (I think that E believes assembly instructions are for sissies), and my nifty 6" toilet seat with handle bars. We did ALL of my laundry, moved the furniture, washed the dogs, went grocery shopping and even fit in a good workout.
Part of my prep instructions include washing with this special antibacterial type of body wash tonight and tomorrow morning. It kinda freaked me out -- it's blood red for starters. I scrubbed everything with it until I felt like Karen Silkwood (that's a movie, by the way, that was one of the earliest to include a lesbian character -- played by Cher!). If you were born after, say, 1980, that reference may elude you.
I think there's an upside to my convalescent time. I have this big leather livingroom sofa. It's huge. But I always only sit in one place on it, and my butt is starting to make quite a dent. Maybe I'll wear in other parts of the sofa now that I can't sit just in that one place anymore. I'll make more dents. ;)
My check-in time tomorrow is 11:30am. I should start really freaking out at around 10:00am. So if you could throw a little prayer out there, I'd be much obliged. :)
Until next time, when I will have my first cyborg part, see ya later.
I'll be back...
Saturday, February 5, 2011
Anxiety
I wish the anesthesiologist would give you meds to take starting, oh, about 3 days prior to the surgery. That would be oh so fine with me.
It's Saturday, and my surgery is Monday. I got a call from the hospital and now know my check-in time is 11:30am on Monday. On one hand, it's great that neither I nor anyone who will be with me that day has to get up early! Yay! On the other hand, I don't get to eat or drink anything that day -- not coffee, not my pro-shake, not even water. I expect my surgery will actually take place around 1 or 2, so that's a long day.
My anxiety level is on the fast track now. Anxiety about people or situations I have an idea for how to handle. But this waiting sucks. It's a creeping pressure in my head and heart and makes me feel a bit bi-polar. One minute I'm just generally irritated and edgy. The next minute I'm sobbing for no particular reason.
We were going to go to the Roller Derby this evening, but I really don't want to be around a lot of people right now. As it is, I'm a bit of an introvert (though nobody believes me). I am more calm and centered when I'm alone. Crowds of people wear me down. I love my friends, but crowds of strangers do not make me feel good.
Instead, we're going to try to distract me with movies, starting with the Harry Potter movie that is almost done with its run in the theaters. In 3D!
I really hope this blog thing picks up after the surgery. This stuff is depressing!
It's Saturday, and my surgery is Monday. I got a call from the hospital and now know my check-in time is 11:30am on Monday. On one hand, it's great that neither I nor anyone who will be with me that day has to get up early! Yay! On the other hand, I don't get to eat or drink anything that day -- not coffee, not my pro-shake, not even water. I expect my surgery will actually take place around 1 or 2, so that's a long day.
My anxiety level is on the fast track now. Anxiety about people or situations I have an idea for how to handle. But this waiting sucks. It's a creeping pressure in my head and heart and makes me feel a bit bi-polar. One minute I'm just generally irritated and edgy. The next minute I'm sobbing for no particular reason.
We were going to go to the Roller Derby this evening, but I really don't want to be around a lot of people right now. As it is, I'm a bit of an introvert (though nobody believes me). I am more calm and centered when I'm alone. Crowds of people wear me down. I love my friends, but crowds of strangers do not make me feel good.
Instead, we're going to try to distract me with movies, starting with the Harry Potter movie that is almost done with its run in the theaters. In 3D!
I really hope this blog thing picks up after the surgery. This stuff is depressing!
Thursday, February 3, 2011
Convergence
I'm overwhelmed. I don't know if it's the "magic" of Facebook or the alignment of the planets or what, but it feels like all of a sudden I am re-connecting with some incredibly important people (to me) that I have not really connected with in a very long time.
Friendships are funny things. From childhood, to high school, to college, to my 20's and different jobs and endeavors, friends have come and go. It's completely normal to make good friends and, when lives change (or when we piss each other off), often friendships fade. It's always just a blessing to have had them.
There are some friendships that grab you and don't let you go, even if you do piss each other off. A couple of these friendships have resurfaced. I've missed them so much.
To be honest, I've been very overwhelmed by the love and support that I've been offered lately. My friends and family are beautiful beyond description and I can't be more blessed.
I gotta hand it to the Creator. I am never let down and always surprised by ways I'm loved. Now, when I can't seem to sleep at night because of my anxiety, these friends come back out of the blue. I'm reminded in amazing ways how much love there is in the world. Tonight I might not sleep very well again, but it'll be due to my joy and excitement at welcoming these friends back in my life.
Friendships are funny things. From childhood, to high school, to college, to my 20's and different jobs and endeavors, friends have come and go. It's completely normal to make good friends and, when lives change (or when we piss each other off), often friendships fade. It's always just a blessing to have had them.
There are some friendships that grab you and don't let you go, even if you do piss each other off. A couple of these friendships have resurfaced. I've missed them so much.
To be honest, I've been very overwhelmed by the love and support that I've been offered lately. My friends and family are beautiful beyond description and I can't be more blessed.
I gotta hand it to the Creator. I am never let down and always surprised by ways I'm loved. Now, when I can't seem to sleep at night because of my anxiety, these friends come back out of the blue. I'm reminded in amazing ways how much love there is in the world. Tonight I might not sleep very well again, but it'll be due to my joy and excitement at welcoming these friends back in my life.
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