Anxiety

I wish the anesthesiologist would give you meds to take starting, oh, about 3 days prior to the surgery.  That would be oh so fine with me.

It's Saturday, and my surgery is Monday.  I got a call from the hospital and now know my check-in time is 11:30am on Monday.  On one hand, it's great that neither I nor anyone who will be with me that day has to get up early!  Yay!  On the other hand, I don't get to eat or drink anything that day -- not coffee, not my pro-shake, not even water.  I expect my surgery will actually take place around 1 or 2, so that's a long day.

My anxiety level is on the fast track now.  Anxiety about people or situations I have an idea for how to handle.  But this waiting sucks.  It's a creeping pressure in my head and heart and makes me feel a bit bi-polar.  One minute I'm just generally irritated and edgy.  The next minute I'm sobbing for no particular reason.

We were going to go to the Roller Derby this evening, but I really don't want to be around a lot of people right now.  As it is, I'm a bit of an introvert (though nobody believes me).  I am more calm and centered when I'm alone.  Crowds of people wear me down.  I love my friends, but crowds of strangers do not make me feel good.  

Instead, we're going to try to distract me with movies, starting with the Harry Potter movie that is almost done with its run in the theaters.  In 3D!

I really hope this blog thing picks up after the surgery.  This stuff is depressing!