Grannie Panties

There's nothing like impending surgery to make you want to go on a shopping spree.  I went to Fred Meyer this evening to do a little light shopping and walked away with a 5-pack of grannie panties.  I'm expecting that after surgery I won't want to wear tight pants or undies, so I bought these buggers.  They look like a panty version of parachute pants.  *shudder*

I know I'm stressed out when I have little emotional outbursts.  The stress wells up and starts spilling over in areas that don't have much to do with my original source of anxiety.

I have a little gym in my basement with an eliptical trainer and some weights.  I also have a DVD player and TV so I can watch movies while I do my thing.  This morning's workout was accompanied by "Once", a story about a street performer who meets an immigrant girl and they play all this amazing original music together.

There's a scene where they go into a music store (like where they sell instruments), sit down with his beat-up guitar and a store piano, and start learning a song that he wrote, together for the first time.  I know there are equivalents to this feeling in other hobbies and passions, but here's how I feel about making music like that: it feels like giving birth to something you love.  It feels like connecting to the other musician's hearts in a way that can't be spoken.  It's a warm light that flows through everybody so intensely that after, you look at each other and say, "wow, what just happened?"

While I watched this scene I was reminded of how it feels to me when Elevation band plays. Despite the drama, the dysfunction and all the things we do wrong, I love those weirdos more than anything. And more, I love when we play music together.  It is my gift to have the honor to play with them.

Back to that emotional thing. I'm on the eliptical trainer, pumping away, and this scene from the movie plays, blowing me away.  I start thinking about Elevation and how much I'm going to miss them and really, what they mean to me, and I start BAWLING.  Seriously, not just a tear -- a fountain.  Do you know how hard it is to have hitching sobs when you're out of breath?  Talk about confusing!  Not to mention that I was twice as puffy.  Sigh...

Suffice it to say that I composed myself and was fine after I purged emotionally.  All this and I still have two weeks to go!!  This is going to be fun!

Speaking of crazy...